Cole (A Wolf Shifter Romance Novel) (The Steelman Shifters Book 1) Read online

We sat like that on the steps to my new home for a while. We didn’t speak and Cole didn’t try and tell me it was all going to be okay. His hoodie was keeping me warm and his arm a comforting weight, holding me together.

  I didn’t know how long exactly we sat there because the next thing I remembered was waking up in a soft bed, daylight streaming through my window. I pulled the hood of the jumper up and buried myself deeper under the blankets, silent sobs taking over my body.

  I couldn’t face any world without my parents.

  Chapter 2

  Hayley

  It was already afternoon by the time I made it downstairs. There were moving boxes everywhere, and it took me a moment to figure out where the kitchen was. This house was far too big for us, but I wasn’t going to complain. My nan was sipping at her tea, and gestured for me to take a seat next to her.

  “How are you feeling this morning?” She asked, setting down her mug.

  Like shit. “Okay, I guess.”

  “Tristan has called a meeting with you. You can head over whenever you are ready.”

  I flopped into the chair with a sigh. “What meeting?”

  “He has offered for you to join his pack.” She poured a glass of orange juice and slid it towards me. Her voice sounded nonchalant, but I knew I didn’t have a choice in the matter.

  “Nan, I—”

  “Just go, Hayley. He will be more than happy to answer all of your questions.”

  I silently helped myself to some of the food on the table. We didn’t talk about the elephant in the room and, when I glanced over at my nan, she looked exhausted.

  “Um,” I said, after I finished eating. “How are we going to get there?”

  “Dane is waiting outside for you.”

  Thoroughly dismissed, I went outside in search of the mysterious Dane. He was the driver from the previous day and gave me a small nod in greeting. He was wearing casual shorts and a t-shirt, but his demeanour was far from relaxed. His eyes were taking in everything around me, assessing almost.

  Whoever this Dane was to Tristan, he was important.

  “Afternoon, Hayley. Sorry things seem so formal, but I don’t have any other cars at the moment.”

  Thank God he is normal.

  “It’s fine.” I bit my lip as I slid into the blacked-out Range Rover. I didn’t pay any mind to it yesterday, and it was noticeably quieter without Kian. I slid my hands over the smooth leather and tried to figure out what Tristan must do to afford this sort of thing.

  “So, you’re packless, right?” Dane said, from the front seat.

  “Yeah, I guess I am.”

  “This will be interesting.” He sped away from the house and I gazed out of the tinted windows.

  “What’s that supposed to mean?”

  “It’s been a while since we opened up the pack to a packless pup. I wonder what you’ll be like.”

  “I’ll be sure to ask you when I want your opinion.” My words were harsher than I intended but he burst out laughing.

  “Oh, you’ll get on with Kian and Cole just fine.”

  I tried to hide my smile, but Dane’s laugh was infectious. Both Kian and Cole seemed friendly yesterday, and I hoped they would welcome me into their friendship group. I couldn’t remember ever being friends with a shifter, and it got quite lonely having to hide it from the few friends I had at school.

  Would I go to school again? I chewed on my lip, deliberating how fast things were moving since yesterday.

  “What’s bad about being packless anyway?” I asked.

  “Packless wolves are known to be violent, and impulsive. We all need a pack to keep our animal intact, so we don’t go wild.”

  “I’m not a violent person.”

  “That’s because you’re still quite young. Give it a few more years, though, and I worry about what will happen to you.”

  My eyes fell to my lap. I always felt like something was missing in my life, but I chalked it up to not having a large friendship group. The fear of losing control of my wolf was coming back, and I hoped Tristan would be able to help me.

  When we pulled up to the Steelmans’ home, I had to stifle a gasp. The place was enormous. A wooden cabin meets millionaire’s mansion kind of thing. Seriously, where did this man have all this money?

  I slid out of the car with shaky legs. I was in leggings and still wearing Cole’s jumper, which I now didn’t think was appropriate for this sort of meeting. Cole’s scent clung to the fabric and settled my nerves a little bit. I shoved my hands into the pockets of the jumper and followed Dane inside.

  The house opened up to a large kitchen and living area, which had a few people in it. I kept my head down as Dane gave them a wave and he nudged me towards the stairs. I could feel their stares on me but I kept my gaze adverted, terrified of them.

  “Don’t be scared,” Dane muttered, casting a look at me over his shoulder. “They will be your pack, too.”

  “I haven’t decided if I want to join or not yet.”

  “Oh?”

  I didn’t answer him. I looked around the hallway he was leading me down. There were some pictures hanging on the walls, and I spotted a younger Kian with a woman who must be his mother. A sharp pain wedged itself in my chest and wouldn’t leave.

  “This is the tactical room, where you will usually find Tristan. Technically, no one else is allowed in here.”

  “Lucky me?”

  He barked out a laugh. “Something like that.”

  I followed him into the room and glanced around. It was fairly bare, with only a desk, and some papers strewn across the surfaces. I guess they must be important, or confidential, and that is why no one was allowed in here.

  “Take a seat, Hayley.” Tristan gestured to the seat directly opposite him, and Dane took up a guard-like stance at the door.

  Tristan was dressed impeccably in a navy suit, complete with a perfectly done up tie. His hair was neatly arranged, and there were glasses perched on the end of his nose. Removing them with a sigh, he regarded me quietly. I felt uncomfortable under his gaze and he smiled slightly.

  “You met Cole last night.” It wasn’t a question and I didn’t understand what he was meaning.

  “Um, yes?”

  “Interesting. Have you been packless your whole life?”

  “As far as I know. My parents wanted us to leave the pack and I have no recollection of them.” I swallowed past the lump in my throat at the mention of my parents. My wolf was slowly stirring, uncomfortable with the fact I was hurting.

  “We are in a difficult situation,” he admitted, leaning back in his chair. “I don’t allow packless wolves into my pack because they can be… volatile. You are too young to be on your own, too powerful, and I would like to give you the opportunity to join.”

  Too powerful? “What will I have to do?” I asked instead.

  He smiled slightly. “You caught that? I need you to learn about the pack hierarchy, how to shift, our laws. If you commit to coming here every day this week to train, I will let you join.”

  “What if I don’t want to join?”

  He shared a look over my shoulder with Dane. “Why wouldn’t you?”

  “I don’t know anything about you.” I don’t trust you.

  “Dane, leave us.”

  He left immediately, taking any safety I felt with him. My skin was crawling and I wanted to run right out after him.

  “This feeling you have? It’s because I’m an alpha, Hayley. Your wolf wants to submit to me, but she can’t because you won’t. Your stubbornness is going to be the end of you one day if you do not reign it in.”

  “Tristan—”

  “Stop fighting this. Haven’t you ever wondered what it would feel like to belong somewhere? To have friends you can rely on?”

  “Well—”

  “I can feel your turmoil from here. Train with me, with us. By the end of the week you will be begging to join.”

  The fact he kept interrupting me was infuriating but I held my tongue.
I wasn’t going to be able to argue myself out of this. I gave him a curt nod and dropped my gaze into my lap, picking at my nails. I wanted the world to swallow me up right now, but of course, the universe didn’t listen.

  “You won’t be at school this week,” he said, still appraising me. “You can start on Monday. The boys will take care of you.”

  “Okay.”

  “Your first lesson is with Dane.” Tristan picked up the paperwork he had been working on when I came in and didn’t look at me again.

  “What will we be doing?”

  “Shifting.”

  “I can already shift.”

  “Sure you can.” He was testing me, and I couldn’t help but rise to the challenge.

  I removed Cole’s jumper because I really didn’t want to shred it, but Tristan was still paying me no mind. I could feel his influence, his power, lingering in the air but I ignored it. I focussed on my breathing, and let my wolf take to the surface.

  My muscles ached and my bones cracked, but it wasn’t long before I felt my wolf taking over. I let her, relieved that I could rest my human side at last. I let a low snarl and that was the only time Tristan looked over at me.

  “Wow, colour me impressed. I thought you were bluffing. The real question is, Hayley, can you shift back?”

  He reached into a drawer and tossed a pair of shorts and a t-shirt on the floor. He spun around in his chair to give me some privacy, and I willed myself to remember what my nan had taught me.

  My wolf was whining, she didn’t want to be caged up again. I was hurting, but she didn’t place where the hurt was coming from.

  “The alpha,” my wolf growled.

  No. Stop it. Let me take over again, please.

  “I want a pack.”

  Okay.

  Fuck. I didn’t want a pack, at least I didn’t think so, but my wolf would never let me shift back.

  “Alpha,” my wolf growled to Tristan. He lifted his head slightly in acknowledgement but didn’t turn back. If I did shift back, I’d be completely naked, and he wasn’t going to risk turning around too early.

  “Need a pack,” my wolf begged.

  “You can have a pack when you get your human under control. Shift back, Hayley. This is your first lesson.”

  You heard him, wolf, let me take over.

  My wolf released a vicious snarl but before I could reprimand her, I was on my knees on the floor, gasping from the pain. It was awkward as fuck to shift into human form in front of someone, and I vaguely remember people used to shift in the forests, instead.

  I scrambled to put some clothes on and cleared my throat when I was decent. I pulled Cole's jumper on, the comfort it gave me was steadying my racing heart.

  As he turned to face me again, Tristan rubbed at his chin. “Prove to me that you will follow pack laws, and I’ll let you join. Maybe a week is too long.”

  I mumbled my thanks and practically flew from his room. He made my skin crawl, and I rubbed at my arms as I wandered the hallway aimlessly. Too scared to go downstairs on my own, but I also couldn’t exactly go anywhere else while I waited for Dane to come back.

  “Hayley!” Kian called, racing down the stairs from the level above. He was dressed in his school uniform and fumbling with his tie. “What are you doing here?”

  “Um, I just had a meeting with your dad. I don’t know the way out,” I lied.

  “Or you are just scared of facing the pack,” Kian said, smirking. “Come on, no one will bother you if I’m around. What did my dad want?”

  “He was offering to let me join your pack. I need to prove I will follow the pack laws though, but I don’t know what they are.”

  I felt shy again as multiple pairs of eyes focussed on me in the living area.

  “Stop staring,” Kian demanded, and they immediately adverted their gaze. “Sorry, Hayley. I don’t usually flex the influence I have, but I know how unnerving it can be to have lots of people you don’t know staring at you.”

  “Influence?” I raised my eyebrows as he looked over at me.

  “Uh, yeah. You know, the thing we alpha’s have that make you submit to us?”

  I shook my head, not following what he was talking about. He sighed and stopped before we rounded the corner into the kitchen.

  “I don’t really know what other word to use. It’s called an influence because we can literally influence your wolf into submission. It’s one of the things that differentiates us from the other pack members. I take it that no one has used it on you before, but if they do, you’ll know about it. Don’t worry though, I only use it when I have to.”

  “Right, I see.” I gave him a tight smile, processing what he said. He gave me a long look as though he was trying to solve a puzzle, but then he shrugged and carried on walking. I followed Kian into the kitchen, marvelling at the size of it.

  “Massive, isn’t it?” A familiar voice said behind me. My cheeks flamed red as I faced Cole, and I remembered I was in his jumper. He gave me a knowing grin and held out a bowl of fruit. “Want some?”

  “I’m good, thanks. I ate before I came here. Do you all live here?”

  “No, there are cabins nearby where other pack members live,” Kian answered, helping himself to the food laid out on the island. “All pack gatherings happen here though. More people will come in soon because my dad briefs them at nine every morning for their daily tasks. We’re going to school so we are excluded from pack duties.”

  “What kind of duties are there?” I slid onto the barstool next to Cole.

  “Oh, the usual,” Cole answered. His low voice was lulling me into a calm. Kian had his mouth full of pancakes. I was becoming tempted. “Patrolling the borders, taking out any threats from packless wolves, relationship building with other shifters and clans… That sort of thing.”

  “Clans?” I asked.

  “Yeah. It’s the name for non-wolf packs. They operate pretty much the same though with their own hierarchies. Anyway, what did you do in your other pack?” Kian asked, before stuffing his face again.

  “I wasn’t part of a pack,” I admitted, my voice full of shame. Cole stiffened ever so slightly as Kian’s jaw dropped open.

  “Mate, that’s disgusting. Shut your trap,” Cole leaned over, forcing Kian’s mouth to shut. “Hayley, we haven’t had a packless wolf in a while, never mind a pup. When are you joining?”

  “Soon, I think. I’m still on the fence.”

  “Join,” my wolf growled.

  “Please join,” Cole said, his voice echoing my wolf. “We will look out for you.”

  I looked at him, his vivid eyes capturing mine. Kian cleared his throat.

  “Yeah, we will. We can’t do that though if you don’t join us. The pack laws are simple, anyway,” Kian said, breaking my moment with Cole.

  What the hell is wrong with you, Hayley? Pull yourself together.

  “Come on, kids. I have things to do this morning and don’t have time to hang around,” Dane said, appearing around the corner. He was surprised to see me, but quickly recovered. Where else was I going to be – walking home? Dane turned to me, “I will meet you tomorrow to run through pack stuff?”

  I nodded and followed them out of the door. Kian and Cole started shoving each other, laughing about something to do with school. I longed to be able to join them, join this pack.

  Where was this coming from?

  It was a complete one-eighty from when I arrived, but there must be some reason why my parents didn’t want to join a pack.

  “I’ll drop you off first,” Dane commented, and I slid into the back next to Cole. Kian was in the front, enthusiastically telling Dane about something pack related. I couldn’t keep up and Cole’s eyes were on me.

  “What?” I asked, and he gave me a sad smile.

  “You’ve been crying.”

  “No, I haven’t.” I crossed my arms and hid my chin in the front of the hoodie.

  “For what it’s worth, Hayley. I’d really like it if you joined the pack.”<
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  “Why?”

  “I’m not sure. I just feel… we’re similar, aren’t we?” He bent his head closer to mine, lowering his voice so the other men couldn’t hear. “I could do with you as a friend.”

  I didn’t know what to say to that. I did feel a familiarity with Cole that I hadn’t felt with anyone before, but he also unnerved me in a very different way. As Dane was approaching the street where I now lived, I peeked at Cole from under my lashes.

  “I could do with a friend, too.”

  He nodded and turned his attention back out of the window. I slid out the car with a thanks, promising Kian I would try my hardest to join the pack. As the car pulled away, so did some of the weight I was feeling.

  Chapter 3

  Hayley

  My leg bounced as I studied the drawing Dane did on the whiteboard. It was pretty terrible, but I was getting the gist of it. It was a diagram of where everyone sat in the pack and the responsibilities they had.

  “So, you’re second in command, right? And even though you wouldn’t be my alpha, you still have some influence over the pack?” I asked, seeing Dane in a new light. He seemed far too casual for someone with a high ranking, but I guessed he must have a serious side.

  I never wanted to be on the receiving end of it if he did have one, that's for sure.

  “Correct. When Kian is ready, probably in his late teens or early twenties, he will be promoted, and take over. I’m filling in while waiting for him to come of age.”

  “What has to happen for a new alpha to take over?”

  “If the alpha has a child, usually whenever the child is ready, and the parent is willing to hand over control. Similar to retirement, I guess. A potential alpha can also take over in challenges. It’s a fight to the death.”

  “Oh.” I chewed on my lip. “Is the pack violent in general?”

  Dane sat down on the floor across from me, leaning back against the wall. “Sort of. We all are, deep down. You’re a woman so maybe it isn’t as bad for you, but we all have a wild animal inside of us. We need the pack to look out for one another. It isn’t all about control for the sake of it.”

  “Have you ever lost control? Like, really lost it?”